The promise

This evening I sat down to write an inspiring but wildly funny post about My Flab And New Strategies For Getting Rid Of It.

This was an important post, because it came at the end of a day of assiduous consumption of everything in the kitchen that didn’t up and run away. I’ve become quite good at the housewife thing just lately, so my kitchen is almost completely clear of things with legs. In other words, not a lot escaped my ravenous maw.

It made me feel miserable.

I pondered the words in my last post, about wanting to “honor” my friend’s memory, and be a better person as inspired by her, and I mocked myself. Words like fat frumpy failure of femininishness came to mind.

The post I wrote was all very funny, of course, ha ha ha, not at all miserable, and then I tried to access a site that I wanted to link to the post and my computer had a fit, and by the time it regained consciousness the entire post was gone. It was one of those rambling exercises in free association that is completely impossible to replicate.

There was only one thing to do, and I did it. I drove the four miles to our nearest convenience store and bought ice cream. In a few minutes, I will take my ice cream and my book and climb into bed and call this miserable day DONE.

But first … there’s something I need to do. I hope it doesn’t make you feel used.

I need to make a promise. The promise is being made to myself, no one else, but I feel a need to make it public. I will probably regret posting this tomorrow, but I hope I will have the courage to leave it up anyway.

My promise is this: from tomorrow, I will begin to introduce new discipline into the way I nurture my body. I will nourish it with food that helps it work well. I will take it for walks as often as I can – I hope daily. And I will put it to bed in time to let it have the rest it needs. Most importantly, I will learn to stop hating, despising and resenting it.

With companions like these, and a place like this to go walking, how can I not learn to love "exercise"?
With companions like these, and such a place right nearby to go walking, how can I not learn to love “exercise”?

I will do this in honor of my friend, who started running to fight cancer and stood her ground for 26 years; who rose before dawn every morning until weeks before she died because time was too precious to waste; and who regarded each day as a gift.

But just to be clear, I’m not doing this for her. I’m doing it for me. She’s my inspiration, but I am my own and sufficient reason.

And I’ll be checking in with you on my progress as I go along, in particular sharing lessons that you might find useful. I hope you’ll stick with me and share your own stories. A change this radical isn’t going to be easy, and it would be good to know I’m not making it alone.

Anybody out there with me?

Author: Belladonna Took

Well into my second half-century and still trying to figure out what to be when I grow up. Born South African, naturalized American, perpetually at risk of losing my balance and landing ass-first in the Atlantic.

14 thoughts on “The promise”

  1. Declaring my intent on my blog 2 years ago is one of the main reasons I was successful at committing to, and sticking with, a healthier lifestyle. I felt accountable once I had made my public declaration. Best of luck to you!


  2. I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve been eating CRAP for far too long, and my body, energy (or lack thereof) and waist line are all begging me to stop. I’ve been doing the healthy eating thing for 4 days and even lost 2 pounds. Then last night, I reached for the remaining ice cream in the freezer and freakin’ finished it. So angry at myself. But, today is a new day! Here’s to being healthy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, so long as you don’t actually go out and buy more ice cream, you can safely regard that as pest control. You had to do something with it, right?

      Seriously, though, I’m with you. It is so, so hard to fight that urge to eat something that you know will make you feel dreadful. Right now all I want to do is jump into my car and race to Shari’s and glom down a big serving of theIr caramel pecan pie.

      Why did I even write that down? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Argh!


  3. Sometimes doing it for ‘you’ is the hardest part I think. I got myself a whole lot fitter last year, cut down on alcohol and eating crap, made some progress but at the time think lot’s of it was about someone else..Good Luck x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the encouragement! I can’t deny that Himself will be a lot happier if I’m in better shape – and, more importantly, if I figure out something that works for me that might inspire him to make his own journey to better health. But right now I’m having to do it for ME, and you’re right, that can get hard.


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